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[quote=Anonymous]Op, breaking up as a way to handle conflict and emotion is really unhealthy.

You say this is the first big fight. Have there been lots of little fights as well? This might be a bigger one but it built from smaller ones and he is done.

Have you dealt with smaller conflicts in unhealthy ways?

If it really is your first fight - then now he has seen how you deal with conflict and that you bail as soon as it gets hard. For most people (beyond early adulthood), that isn't a dynamic they want. They want someone who can work though conflict and the emotions that come with it and not make it personal and end things. I don't know what all was in your breakup speech but if you said critical or negative or mean thing about him as a person to support your breaking up, then he might well be done.

Since he isn't accepting your calls, I would not show up at his door. He has told you pretty clearly, he doesn't want to speak to you right now. Showing up puts him on the spot and that isn't fair. You get to plan out your side of the conversation and then he is stuck unprepared and needing to respond. Any face to face conversation should be agreed upon by both parties.

If you decide to send him a text / email message at some point, don't make any mention of getting back together. The apology should be for your actions and any hurt you caused. Not about what you want from him. [/quote]

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