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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]it’s a spectrum, the ones at one end are serial cheaters, they like the thrill, couldn’t care less of anyone in the mix, including children, very selfish people, all about them, and at the other end there are the ones that spent most of the relationship miserable and wondering if there is some way out without hurting everyone, good but weak people that cannot face the music and say openly, hey, I’m really sorry, I don’t think this works anymore, let’s talk and help each other out of this … they don’t want to end up lonely, they still value the thing they have but i is not enough and they don’t want to get the blame for ending the relationship[/quote]

A lot of men are cake eaters.  They are happy at home and no desire to end the marriage, but a side bang once in awhile if they get an arrangement going in a bonus.  More men are like this than not.  Women are the opposite.  Polls of cheating men—vast majority said they were “very happy” in their marriage.  That’s the reality and that is like the guy’s friend upthread who goes to great pains to make sure his wife never finds out.[/quote]
I’m a DW like that guy. Content enough in marriage, just struggling with losing my sex drive then I met a man who set me on fire. Tried to put the breaks on but my desire completely consumed me. I am being extremely careful and trying to figure out how to end it, but so far am unable. I know how that sounds to people who have never been in this situation, but it’s an addiction. I’m trying to find a therapist. I’m trying to do other exciting things in life. I want to keep my family together, but I cannot yet give this situation up. I feel alive again for the first time in a decade. [/quote]
I will add, I’m really trying to find a way back to my DH. I am not critical or unkind. In fact, I’m trying hard to be more gentle and forgiving. I’m asking him to make more time for us, I’m trying to be intimate with him but he’s gained weight and I find it hard to get excited to be with him. Things are “fine” but we are definitely coasting and I want us to stay together. [/quote]

PP, How are you doing/what's going on?[/quote]

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