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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is it the uncles house or the GPS house? Is he going to be there or is he going away for a break?

If he’s going away, he doesn’t have a right to say your MIL has to spend Thanksgiving as a caretaker without anyone for her own support while she’s away from her home. If he will still be there it’s reasonable to think maybe he wanted to spend time with his sister figuring out the way ahead so then inviting the sister is strange, but isn’t the sister a grandchild here?

For the dogs…if you are asking someone to do you a favor, you don’t get to be choosy so again, is it that he’s going away for two weeks and wants to still be in charge? Because the real decision about dogs should be made by the people whose home they will be in. If they’re not in a position to make that kind of basic decision then it’s time for 24 hour care. [/quote]

It's the grandparent's home but they are really incapable of making any kind of decision. He is their legal guardian or power or attorney or whatever. He will not be there. I think most people in this situation think they should have outside care but for whatever reason that is not happening (they've had hired help in the past but apparently the grandparents made a big fuss about it). This is all about so much more than the dogs though. He really just wants his sister to help with their parents without any strings or conditions (uncle constantly watches them without bringing other people). He doesn't see it as a favor as so much as his sister doing her fair share (which 2 weeks over Thanksgiving is nothing compared to what he does). My wife's sister is completely unhelpful and usually just creates more work in the form of having an additional person to cook for and clean up after. That won't really be his problem in this time since he won't be there, but I wouldn't be surprise if he has to clean up after the dogs when he gets back because the sister always leaves messes behind her.

As I noted in a previous post, my MIL is now saying she won't go up at all. I'm pretty floored by it. She was over yesterday ranting and raving about it and it was all me me me not once a single thought about her parents. Huge family rift now, my wife is considering seriously stepping back from her relationship with her mother. It's all just a sad messy situation. [/quote]

Your MIL sounds like a self absorbed person. At the same time your uncle-in-law is cutting off his nose to spite his face: now instead of getting two weeks of respite care at Thanksgiving so he can recharge and regroup, he has nothing. So now he has to scramble in almost-October to find someone to revise their holiday plans, which isn’t a great situation either. The dogs do not inconvenience your uncle-in-law if he isn’t there. Neither does your sister in law inconvenience your uncle in law if he is not there. He needs to take yes for an answer and not try to control every aspect of this, which is very hard when you’re the primary caregiver.

But your wife needs to butt out.[/quote]

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