Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So ops wife here and when my uncle first brought up this dog drama to me I asked him what he would prefer: my mom to go up with dogs coming or her to totally bail on going as that’s what I predicted would be her reaction. The dogs apparently were a sticking point for him.

Then your uncle cares more about control than he does about needing break. You don’t get to dictate the terms under which someone does you a favor, and if he’s guardian/PoA than at the end of the day he’s decided this is his responsibility.

A favor? Taking care of her own parents for two weeks when her brother and nephew handle it all the other 50 weeks of he year? They’re not even her dogs! People can be so G-d self centered.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So ops wife here and when my uncle first brought up this dog drama to me I asked him what he would prefer: my mom to go up with dogs coming or her to totally bail on going as that’s what I predicted would be her reaction. The dogs apparently were a sticking point for him.

Then your uncle cares more about control than he does about needing break. You don’t get to dictate the terms under which someone does you a favor, and if he’s guardian/PoA than at the end of the day he’s decided this is his responsibility.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No to the dogs. Even if a passive aggressive zing - just no.

Are you going to pay to put dogs in kennel? I am a dog owner and even if you paid for a kennel, I would not leave my dogs in a kennel for that long. Love me, love my dog

Having a dog means having to kennel them sometimes or finding a friend to take care of them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No to the dogs. Even if a passive aggressive zing - just no.

Are you going to pay to put dogs in kennel? I am a dog owner and even if you paid for a kennel, I would not leave my dogs in a kennel for that long. Love me, love my dog

I love my dogs and I just let a relative stay in my house with their three large dogs, and I think you are ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So ops wife here and when my uncle first brought up this dog drama to me I asked him what he would prefer: my mom to go up with dogs coming or her to totally bail on going as that’s what I predicted would be her reaction. The dogs apparently were a sticking point for him.

Then your uncle cares more about control than he does about needing break. You don’t get to dictate the terms under which someone does you a favor, and if he’s guardian/PoA than at the end of the day he’s decided this is his responsibility.

Anonymous wrote:So ops wife here and when my uncle first brought up this dog drama to me I asked him what he would prefer: my mom to go up with dogs coming or her to totally bail on going as that’s what I predicted would be her reaction. The dogs apparently were a sticking point for him.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a dog lover, and previous owner and don’t understand how people don’t get that three large dogs DO make a mess- our last dog passed away 5 years ago and I’m still finding fur woven in places. The reason we don’t have a dog right now is we have a small child and it’s too much work. MIL would be spending her time caring and cleaning after these dogs instead of taking care of ILs, and, as most dog owners are less sensitive to dog-related mess, uncle would end up cleaning or repairing after the fact.

I also get uncle’s pettiness - his life is likely very disrupted all the time by GPs care and needs, and MIL won’t even take the responsibility to inconvenience her life for 2 short weeks.

I’m team uncle, clearly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it the uncles house or the GPS house? Is he going to be there or is he going away for a break?

If he’s going away, he doesn’t have a right to say your MIL has to spend Thanksgiving as a caretaker without anyone for her own support while she’s away from her home. If he will still be there it’s reasonable to think maybe he wanted to spend time with his sister figuring out the way ahead so then inviting the sister is strange, but isn’t the sister a grandchild here?

For the dogs…if you are asking someone to do you a favor, you don’t get to be choosy so again, is it that he’s going away for two weeks and wants to still be in charge? Because the real decision about dogs should be made by the people whose home they will be in. If they’re not in a position to make that kind of basic decision then it’s time for 24 hour care.

It's the grandparent's home but they are really incapable of making any kind of decision. He is their legal guardian or power or attorney or whatever. He will not be there. I think most people in this situation think they should have outside care but for whatever reason that is not happening (they've had hired help in the past but apparently the grandparents made a big fuss about it). This is all about so much more than the dogs though. He really just wants his sister to help with their parents without any strings or conditions (uncle constantly watches them without bringing other people). He doesn't see it as a favor as so much as his sister doing her fair share (which 2 weeks over Thanksgiving is nothing compared to what he does). My wife's sister is completely unhelpful and usually just creates more work in the form of having an additional person to cook for and clean up after. That won't really be his problem in this time since he won't be there, but I wouldn't be surprise if he has to clean up after the dogs when he gets back because the sister always leaves messes behind her.

As I noted in a previous post, my MIL is now saying she won't go up at all. I'm pretty floored by it. She was over yesterday ranting and raving about it and it was all me me me not once a single thought about her parents. Huge family rift now, my wife is considering seriously stepping back from her relationship with her mother. It's all just a sad messy situation.

I am sorry to hear this. Is there a way for your wife to go? Her uncle needs and deserves a break.

Yeah, we're looking in to what we can do. We have a toddler and both work full time so two weeks is rough but seeing if all of us or just her can go for at least a week. I still kind of think my MIL is just having a temper tantrum and will ultimately go, but we'll see.

Can you care for the dogs and MIL goes?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it the uncles house or the GPS house? Is he going to be there or is he going away for a break?

If he’s going away, he doesn’t have a right to say your MIL has to spend Thanksgiving as a caretaker without anyone for her own support while she’s away from her home. If he will still be there it’s reasonable to think maybe he wanted to spend time with his sister figuring out the way ahead so then inviting the sister is strange, but isn’t the sister a grandchild here?

For the dogs…if you are asking someone to do you a favor, you don’t get to be choosy so again, is it that he’s going away for two weeks and wants to still be in charge? Because the real decision about dogs should be made by the people whose home they will be in. If they’re not in a position to make that kind of basic decision then it’s time for 24 hour care.

It's the grandparent's home but they are really incapable of making any kind of decision. He is their legal guardian or power or attorney or whatever. He will not be there. I think most people in this situation think they should have outside care but for whatever reason that is not happening (they've had hired help in the past but apparently the grandparents made a big fuss about it). This is all about so much more than the dogs though. He really just wants his sister to help with their parents without any strings or conditions (uncle constantly watches them without bringing other people). He doesn't see it as a favor as so much as his sister doing her fair share (which 2 weeks over Thanksgiving is nothing compared to what he does). My wife's sister is completely unhelpful and usually just creates more work in the form of having an additional person to cook for and clean up after. That won't really be his problem in this time since he won't be there, but I wouldn't be surprise if he has to clean up after the dogs when he gets back because the sister always leaves messes behind her.

As I noted in a previous post, my MIL is now saying she won't go up at all. I'm pretty floored by it. She was over yesterday ranting and raving about it and it was all me me me not once a single thought about her parents. Huge family rift now, my wife is considering seriously stepping back from her relationship with her mother. It's all just a sad messy situation.

I am sorry to hear this. Is there a way for your wife to go? Her uncle needs and deserves a break.

Yeah, we're looking in to what we can do. We have a toddler and both work full time so two weeks is rough but seeing if all of us or just her can go for at least a week. I still kind of think my MIL is just having a temper tantrum and will ultimately go, but we'll see.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it the uncles house or the GPS house? Is he going to be there or is he going away for a break?

If he’s going away, he doesn’t have a right to say your MIL has to spend Thanksgiving as a caretaker without anyone for her own support while she’s away from her home. If he will still be there it’s reasonable to think maybe he wanted to spend time with his sister figuring out the way ahead so then inviting the sister is strange, but isn’t the sister a grandchild here?

For the dogs…if you are asking someone to do you a favor, you don’t get to be choosy so again, is it that he’s going away for two weeks and wants to still be in charge? Because the real decision about dogs should be made by the people whose home they will be in. If they’re not in a position to make that kind of basic decision then it’s time for 24 hour care.

It's the grandparent's home but they are really incapable of making any kind of decision. He is their legal guardian or power or attorney or whatever. He will not be there. I think most people in this situation think they should have outside care but for whatever reason that is not happening (they've had hired help in the past but apparently the grandparents made a big fuss about it). This is all about so much more than the dogs though. He really just wants his sister to help with their parents without any strings or conditions (uncle constantly watches them without bringing other people). He doesn't see it as a favor as so much as his sister doing her fair share (which 2 weeks over Thanksgiving is nothing compared to what he does). My wife's sister is completely unhelpful and usually just creates more work in the form of having an additional person to cook for and clean up after. That won't really be his problem in this time since he won't be there, but I wouldn't be surprise if he has to clean up after the dogs when he gets back because the sister always leaves messes behind her.

As I noted in a previous post, my MIL is now saying she won't go up at all. I'm pretty floored by it. She was over yesterday ranting and raving about it and it was all me me me not once a single thought about her parents. Huge family rift now, my wife is considering seriously stepping back from her relationship with her mother. It's all just a sad messy situation.

I am sorry to hear this. Is there a way for your wife to go? Her uncle needs and deserves a break.

Yeah, we're looking in to what we can do. We have a toddler and both work full time so two weeks is rough but seeing if all of us or just her can go for at least a week. I still kind of think my MIL is just having a temper tantrum and will ultimately go, but we'll see.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it the uncles house or the GPS house? Is he going to be there or is he going away for a break?

If he’s going away, he doesn’t have a right to say your MIL has to spend Thanksgiving as a caretaker without anyone for her own support while she’s away from her home. If he will still be there it’s reasonable to think maybe he wanted to spend time with his sister figuring out the way ahead so then inviting the sister is strange, but isn’t the sister a grandchild here?

For the dogs…if you are asking someone to do you a favor, you don’t get to be choosy so again, is it that he’s going away for two weeks and wants to still be in charge? Because the real decision about dogs should be made by the people whose home they will be in. If they’re not in a position to make that kind of basic decision then it’s time for 24 hour care.

It's the grandparent's home but they are really incapable of making any kind of decision. He is their legal guardian or power or attorney or whatever. He will not be there. I think most people in this situation think they should have outside care but for whatever reason that is not happening (they've had hired help in the past but apparently the grandparents made a big fuss about it). This is all about so much more than the dogs though. He really just wants his sister to help with their parents without any strings or conditions (uncle constantly watches them without bringing other people). He doesn't see it as a favor as so much as his sister doing her fair share (which 2 weeks over Thanksgiving is nothing compared to what he does). My wife's sister is completely unhelpful and usually just creates more work in the form of having an additional person to cook for and clean up after. That won't really be his problem in this time since he won't be there, but I wouldn't be surprise if he has to clean up after the dogs when he gets back because the sister always leaves messes behind her.

As I noted in a previous post, my MIL is now saying she won't go up at all. I'm pretty floored by it. She was over yesterday ranting and raving about it and it was all me me me not once a single thought about her parents. Huge family rift now, my wife is considering seriously stepping back from her relationship with her mother. It's all just a sad messy situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it the uncles house or the GPS house? Is he going to be there or is he going away for a break?

If he’s going away, he doesn’t have a right to say your MIL has to spend Thanksgiving as a caretaker without anyone for her own support while she’s away from her home. If he will still be there it’s reasonable to think maybe he wanted to spend time with his sister figuring out the way ahead so then inviting the sister is strange, but isn’t the sister a grandchild here?

For the dogs…if you are asking someone to do you a favor, you don’t get to be choosy so again, is it that he’s going away for two weeks and wants to still be in charge? Because the real decision about dogs should be made by the people whose home they will be in. If they’re not in a position to make that kind of basic decision then it’s time for 24 hour care.

It's the grandparent's home but they are really incapable of making any kind of decision. He is their legal guardian or power or attorney or whatever. He will not be there. I think most people in this situation think they should have outside care but for whatever reason that is not happening (they've had hired help in the past but apparently the grandparents made a big fuss about it). This is all about so much more than the dogs though. He really just wants his sister to help with their parents without any strings or conditions (uncle constantly watches them without bringing other people). He doesn't see it as a favor as so much as his sister doing her fair share (which 2 weeks over Thanksgiving is nothing compared to what he does). My wife's sister is completely unhelpful and usually just creates more work in the form of having an additional person to cook for and clean up after. That won't really be his problem in this time since he won't be there, but I wouldn't be surprise if he has to clean up after the dogs when he gets back because the sister always leaves messes behind her.

As I noted in a previous post, my MIL is now saying she won't go up at all. I'm pretty floored by it. She was over yesterday ranting and raving about it and it was all me me me not once a single thought about her parents. Huge family rift now, my wife is considering seriously stepping back from her relationship with her mother. It's all just a sad messy situation.

I am sorry to hear this. Is there a way for your wife to go? Her uncle needs and deserves a break.