Reply to Is middle school always miserable? (Mean girls)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Moms, those you with large groups of neighborhood friends, ones you see weekly, travel with etc.. When you don’t let your daughter invite Larla over bc her mom isn’t invited with your friends, you are perpetuating mean girl behavior under the guise of not wanting to hurt feelings. [/quote]

I posted right above and this is the kind of stuff that becomes completely irrelevant in HS. Kids make their own plans. Parents are uninvolved.  Lots of girls who were friends b/c their parents are friendly won’t hang with eachother anymore, they’ll make their own friendships.[/quote]

Agree with this but some parents can't let go of it and push it longer even when their kids are ready to simply take control of their own social lives. The parents are sometimes proud of having created these little family cliques, and they become attached to the idea of their kids staying close even as they are becoming different people who might want something else in their lives. They also realize that the kids are part of the glue that make their own friendships work, and don't want to go it alone.

For this reason, we've always encouraged our DD to be friendly with our friends' kids (because it's important to be able to get along with different kinds of people) but we don't expect her to limit their socializing to our friends' kids. At all. And as she gets older, this becomes more true and we encourage it. She is her own person, she doesn't need to fit herself tidily into our lives.[/quote]

I’m seeing a lot of the parent/kid cliques persisting in middle school, which really surprises me. At the very least, seems to be a built in group of back up friends and even if a kid is no longer all that liked they are tolerated by the others. I never made a major effort with these parents when my kids are younger beyond being cordial, and often wonder now if I should’ve tried harder. [/quote]

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