Reply to When do you expect your DC to move out?

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[quote=Anonymous]Whenever they want to move out and whenever they can make a good case for moving out.  I do not believe in multiple false-start launches.  Therefore, going to college is not a launch for my kid. Getting a job is not a launch for my kid.  Finding a boyfriend or girlfriend is not a launch for my kid.   For my kids to launch - college and job are but small steps towards launching. For really launching they need to have a significant job that is foundation of a successful well paying career far away from home, and a SO who is on a similar path (college, career) and is a good and loyal person with no baggage, and they both want to get married (that we will pay for).  They are desirous of having a family, good careers and see each other as true partners.  Then they can launch and leave.

Half baked "moving in with the McDonald burger flipper" who is not college educated and on a good career trajectory is not a solution for my kids or their SOs.

How can we enforce this? Well, if your kids are losers or stupid, you cannot make them see reason. However, most of these youngsters see the benefits that having a good education, good career, money in the bank etc gives them.   This realization sinks in at college when they share dorm rooms with others and quickly find out that the benefits they have taken for granted from their parents is not the norm.  The true appreciation for their parents come when our kids get their first taste of living away from home in American college dorms.  So thank you to all the other students who are on their own.

They realize that their parents gave them a leg up because they pay for college, priortize their education, pay for wedding, give seed money for business, home etc  and create generational wealth.  They also realize that their parents did not have much money but were able to make small and strategic sacrifices along the way  to build up this wealth.

Heck, many of our children raised on the milk of American culture were thrilled in the mcmansions they share with their parents when COVID lockdown happened and their kids were remote learning. No working mom in our circle quit because of lack of childcare.  And such kinds of unexpected calamities may happen more and more. So there is strength in being in a strong multi-gen family unit. [/quote]

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