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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP let me give you unconventional advice. This is how men do this (my ex did this to me) when they are a-oles.  First of all you should not stay with him if he's draining your finances and psychologically unbearable. The more your stay, the higher share in all assets, your marital portion of pension accumulates. If you divorce him in 15 years, you are on hook for a lifetime alimony (I know for a fact the case when not working exH receives $6K/month from a MD exW, they divorced in late 50s). 
If your DH is in his 40s the alimony will be small and temporary.

Second: make it appear to him like you are going to court for everything: don't agree to child support, to alimony to anything voluntarily. Is your employment easy to replace? Can you switch to a part-time position or leave job temporarily to take care of your 18 months old? It might be wise in terms of child support and alimony to reduce your income: you have a minor child and it will be well received by the judge if you show husband is not helping at whole WHILE also not working. You would have to pay a minimal child support.

If the CS is small, even if you do have 50/50 custody, the expenses on all children would be too high for your exH to want them 50% of his time. He will slowly become a "weekend dad" or remarry. The new woman also wouldn't want to bank your kids.

As a result, you will be free, will have your kids most of the time and pay little to him. [/quote]

His lawyer will have a field day if you do this. Do you think it won't be incredibly obvious that you voluntarily did this on purpose?

https://www.divorcenet.com/resources/imputing-income-child-support-virginia.html

In Virginia, the ability of a parent to pay child support is based not just on a parent's earnings, but a parent's ability to earn. In other words, the court can base child support on what a parent could earn, not simply what a parent actually earns. For example, [b]if a parent voluntarily takes a job that provides less income than before, the court has the power to base child support on that parent's previous income. [/b]Also, if a parent is voluntarily unemployed or refuses to provide income information, the court can make its own decision on what income that parent could earn and use that amount for child support calculations; this is called "imputing income."

[/quote]

if the husband is voluntarily unemployed but has prior employment history and an education, the court can impute him some income as well so her CS to him will be reduced.

OP think as a man as you go into it. Don't allow a mentally taxing freeloader take your life savings and health. You can only "upgrade" from where you're now in terms of a life partner. Just don't make it a permanent situation and wait till "grey divorce"[/quote]

Yeah, what are you talking about? (NP) The income that would be imputed would be to DH--unless he is disabled, ill, etc.  Also, why is everyone assuming that DH is a SAHP?? It sounds like to me more that OP earns the lion share of their joint income, not that DH has voluntarily and with DW's endorsement chosen to take on all the child care.  He will be laughed out of court if he thinks his maybe semi-underemployment would get him substantial alimony.[/quote]

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