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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I admit I am scared of leaving because I do not want to be alone raising 3 kids. I am waaaay past my prime. I do not feel loved or desired by my husband either. He makes it clear he would be open to an open marriage. I am the breadwinner so really have a lot to lose in a divorce. I worry I wont really gain anything in a divorce. I would lose even more-- he takes half of my retirement, get the kids 50% of the time, i now have to pay for two households and support husband if he fathers new children (just so my children's lifestyle will be the same)

It really is the great unfairness... and it eats me up. There are days when I feel so little self respect for myself. That I have given up and settled because of my fears. Anyone else successful in talking themselves out of a divorce?

Thank you[/quote]

Please seek therapy. There is a whole different way to look at your situation. A woman who is totally financially dependent has a lot to lose in the divorce. The breadwinner is more empowered. You need to think hard about the value of money vs the value of your happiness and self esteem. And what longterm impact will it have on your children to live in a house with such a sad woman, in an unloving marriage?

Alimony and retirement are NOT the only currency. Really, I hope you will spend a few of those hard earned dollars on a professional who can help you find your way out of your current situation. You and your kids do not need to be sentenced to this fate for the rest of your lives. [/quote]

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