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[quote=Anonymous]I have to pay my husband alimony. It sucks. We are in Virginia. I make ~3X what he does (150K vs 450K). He had been under-employed for years (like part-time <$50K). We went through mediation. It is possible I might not have had to pay, but my lawyer and the mediator advised I might be better off to negotiate a smaller amount of alimony over a set number of years instead of taking my chances in court.

Don’t know the laws in Maryland, but it may help if you can get proof of the adultery. In Virginia, that can mean no alimony for the adulterer. But DO NOT have sex with him. That can be seen as condoning the affair.

The 20 years may also be a factor. In Virginia, 20 years can mean “lifetime” alimony (until retirement, usually). But again, proof of adultery could help.

Do not let on you are considering divorce. See at least 3 lawyers. If you can mediate, you will have more flexibility. You might consider options like paying him alimony for longer to avoid having to give up your business. If you go to court, there is very little flexibility. They split things down the middle and there isn’t horse trading like there can be in mediation. And you will save tens or even hundreds of thousands of dollars to not have to go to court and not have to hire expert witnesses.

Be smart and start making spreadsheets of worst case and your potential legal fees. They figure out scenarios you could offer up or live with that leave you with more money in your pocket.[/quote]

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