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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’d like to add to this thread the devastating effects on children.  I was a preteen when my stepdad started cheating on my mom (when their child, my half-brother, was a toddler) and his AP’s kid was a baby - she was married too.  Intuitively - subconsciously - I knew there was something amiss.   I’d gone out with a friend one Friday night when my mom was away on business and we came back very late - I thought I’d be in trouble!  When I got home, my stepdad very calmly introduced my friend and I to his AP - even though he said she was a “work friend,”my twelve-year-old self knew what was happening WASNT right, and I also knew not to tell my mom. The burden was immense.  My mother - being gaslit at the time - became a pretty crappy mother.

The fallout was awful. I had to experience a second divorce before I turned 18. I had to witness my mom go through intense depression and financial difficulties.  I had to see my stepdad happily remarry with no regard to my mother, me, or my brother.  The selfishness and immaturity is unbelievable.  It affected my views about marriage, faithfulness, and commitment to this day.  Sidebar: his former AP, now wife’s, child is in a long-term mental institution.  My own brother (stepdad’s kid) is very emotionally stunted and unable to maintain emotional intimacy with anyone.

Cheaters don’t think about any of this.  [/quote]

Yes, I had a similar experience.  You are absolutely right.  The selfishness is astonishing.

What bothers me even more is, all these years later, the self-righteousness of the cheaters.  [/quote]

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