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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I raised my children to question everything, to read everything, to research everything, to stand strong on their personal convictions, to work hard and cheerfully, that nothing is free in this world, and if it's worth having, it's worth working for, and I do not pay for college. That is an adult responsibility, and at 18, you are an adult. I told my kids to live their lives their way, to live below their means and be practical, buy good, used vehicles and learn to fix them yourself, keep God as your fixed point, and drive it like you stole it. If you get arrested, I'm not bailing you out. My youngest is almost 17 and my oldest is 30. 4 boys, 2 girls, six grandchildren, my five oldest are independent adults who do not need me. I am free to go my own way and do my own thing, because they have been taught well and they all hit the ground running before 18. My 17 yr old works full time and handles all of his business without my input. He's moving out in 2 months. He's ready to fly. [/quote]

I really wish I could speak with your kids and see what they think about your parenting and their relationship with you now that they are grown. Saying you do not pay for college because you have 6 kids and can't afford it is one thing, but saying "that's an adult responsibility?" that's crazy talk.  So, do you know what would your kids say about your parenting?[/quote]

College is an adult responsibility- you get a job or multiple jobs, save your money in high school, go into the military first, pick a community college or fast track career to get started if you have to, or pick a trade or technical career or take out loans.  If parents pay for your college you have been given a great gift and all too many kids these days just think it’s expected that their parents do this for them and don’t realize what a gift it actually is. The PP is absolutely right, at 18 a person should be able to make it on their own if you raised them right. Of course they’ll fail sometimes and struggle at first but they’ll never soar if you never let them fly.[/quote]

Nonsense. College is (for some people) an adult *goal*. And comes with responsibilities accordingly. But to suggest that an 18 yo can fund this with an afterschool job in HS is just inaccurate. All the options you described: military, community college, trade school, are worthy pathways. Some might argue that these options are way better choices than most undergrad degrees from a SLAC. But let's be clear; if your kid's interest is in medicine, law, finance, engineering, or many other well-paying middle class jobs, they need a 4 year degree, and the debt they'll accrue by funding this via loans is prohibitive. Can they pursue these options via the military, etc? Sure. But as a physician, I have a number of colleagues banging it out in 3rd choice specialties bc the military directs that pathway.

Not only did my parents fund undergrad, they told me they would. I tell the same to my daughter. I also tell her what my parents told me. For undergrad, you're covered for 4 years. No victory lap. For grad school, you're on your own.

I've never overlooked the gift my parents gave me. They explained how lucky I was, and I believed them. Still do, of course. Which is why when it came time pay off med school loans, I just did it, no questions asked. There are many ways to raise your kids responsibly. Throwing them in the deep end of the pool before they can swim isn't the only way.[/quote]

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