Reply to Poll - should spouses tell each other about job offers?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think context matters. It depends on 1. How much the family is struggling financially and 2. How much of the workload at home the other spouse is taking on.

If, say, Spouse 1 works at a startup making barely anything, working 60-80 hour weeks so Spouse 2 has to handle everything at home, and the family is struggling financially - then yea, I'd be pretty upset if my spouse was offered a well-paying, flexible job and turned it down.

But if salaries and workload are relatively the same, and they turned it down because they would have hated the job, I wouldn't care. [/quote]

+1 it sounds like his commute bothers you so I wonder if there is something more going on like you feel you are doing more at home than he is or something and this might have helped even that out so you would have liked him to consider that. I think I would want to know my husband weighed that (and was aware of it!) and be feeling like oh he didn’t tell me because he doesn’t want to think about the fact I would prefer that. Not saying that is the case but I wonder if there is something like that going on.

My husband works in a very specialized field that limits his options geographically and if he got an offer somewhere that would be better for our family I think it would be hard if he just turned it down with out talking to me. The fact that he was interested enough to interview for it means he was on some level considering it.  My husband was really annoyed once when I didn’t want to apply for a promotion that would have had a pay increase with no job description charge (but Moore expectations). It came up just talking normally and he convinced me to apply and I did and I think I’m glad. We don’t desperately need the money but I guess it’s good. I do think these things generally come up though…?[/quote]

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