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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My brother is getting married next year.  He is in his mid 30s.  His fiancée is early 30s or late 20s (I haven’t met her yet).  This is my brother’s second wedding.  Their wedding is on a Saturday. It will take me a full long day to drive there.  The bride’s parents have graciously invited my siblings (+spouses and children if we bring them) and parents to dinner at their house the Thursday before the wedding.  While I can drive all day and be a reasonable dinner guest the same evening, I don’t think I should/can expect that of my kids at their ages so if I take my children and spouse to the wedding we’ll have to drive Wednesday.  Before the bride’s parents invited us to dinner on Thursday I was planning to drive all day Friday and be there for the wedding Saturday to make it a quick trip and minimize the amount of school my kids miss.  Now they’ll miss 3 days instead of 1.  Granted they aren’t in high school yet but they’re already missing a couple of days earlier in the school year due to a previously scheduled vacation that we rebooked several times due to COVID and now can no longer rebook without loosing our money.  (We rebooked the vacation before the engagement was announced).

I feel cheap admitting this, but I’m also thinking of spending less on their wedding present if I go Wednesday and have to pay for 2 additional nights at a hotel.  I was originally thinking I’d give the bride and groom a check in the range of $500-$800 but now I’m thinking of subtracting the amount of the extra hotel nights and rounding up in their favor.  Is that ridiculous?

So here are my questions: 1) Would you go two days earlier than planned to have dinner at the home of the bride’s parents?  It is kind of them to host but lengthens the trip.  2) Would you bring your kids at all or just leave them home?  The kids are welcome at the wedding ceremony but not at the reception afterwards.  3) Am I being cheap or petty to reduce the wedding gift amount due to the added cost of two nights at a hotel?
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It's a second wedding.  Who cares?  No gifts for second weddings.[/quote]

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