Reply to People who never ask you any questions about yourself

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, what you describe is endemic in the U.S. It is a combination of insecurity, poor training (boorishness) and striving. It is not fun or creative. Conversation can and should be creative and inspiring. Everyone has something to give us, something to learn from, even if it's what we don't want to be or be around.

We were just invited to spend the weekend at our friends' amazing beach house with them. Gorgeous place and we so appreciated the invitation. However, they do not do conversation about anything except themselves or their grown children. We bore witness to their lives for the entire weekend. I appreciated their hospitality but did not particularly enjoy their company which I feel bad about. I learned all about the wife's exercise routine and mothering opinions. I learned all about their children and relatives.

We were not asked anything about ourselves. I shared by interjecting a few times, including I shared a 5 second video of me giving a speech alongside a national political figure recently (because I am proud of this and I am really into my work). There was zero interest or follow up, so I returned to discussing their various accomplishments and kids' accomplishments. I complimented their house and neighborhood A LOT.

Then their next door neighbor came by for a drink. Suddenly we were talking about the area, the state, real estate and the environment. It got really interesting. Host couple did not engage except to say when it reminded them of something about them or their kids. Visitor asked repeatedly about my work. I gave my one-sentence summary. He asked more, I gave a little more info, then I returned to ask about him and his job. He demurred but gave a downplayed version of what he does (obviously wealthy). Again, such good conversation about external third-party things. There was mutual curiosity about not just us, but outside things and conditions. It was fun, fun like tennis is fun.

Visitor later reached out on LinkedIn where we learned that he owns a major boutique hotel chain and is a philanthropist. He just exuded empathy and curiosity and creativity. Someone we would love to converse with again! [/quote]

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