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[quote=Anonymous]I think our society is not set up in a way where parents and children can truly thrive. The attitude is very “your kid is your problem”. Parents have to work at least 40 hours a week, usually more, so their kids get little attention. They’re thrown into daycares and schools where they are expected to sit still all day and basically raise themselves. There’s a tremendous amount of cultural trauma both parents and children are dealing with. Nobody is given the proper tools for raising children. There’s huge expectations on parents and children to perform to certain standards that aren’t what either are built to do.

For most of human evolution, we lived in small tribes. Everybody knew everybody and everybody helped raise each other’s kids. Kids got to run and play all day, they weren’t forced into chairs. Parents had dozens of other people helping them so they weren’t laboring all day long. Kids had hours each day with their parents. By the time people had kids, they had already helped raise dozens of other children with a wide range of personalities. Even cultural attitudes were different - in many hunter gatherers cultures that exist today, kids are allowed to do whatever they want, even things like playing with sharp knives. They are given much more autonomy. Most of our behavior requirements (sitting still, being quiet, never getting upset or throwing tantrums) are only because as a society we decided these things are a requirement when they’re not natural for kids.

So many of my friends have difficult children. But then I meet up with them, and I can see their kids are just being kids. The problem is they are in the wrong environment. I think we would see a huge reduction in behavior problems if our culture was structured in a way where 1. Kids got several hours a day of time outside playing and moving 2. Kids got several hours a day of focused, positive attention from multiple adults. Not sitting on a park bench saying “good job, Larla!” but actual interacting with the kids.

Unfortunately I don’t see our society getting there anytime soon. But I do hope one day we see the value of families. [/quote]

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