Reply to SILs expect me to be one of MIL's caregivers

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If your SILs have partners/significant others, are they expected to contribute to the care of your MIL? If not, tell the SILs to pound sand, particularly how unsupportive they were when you were dealing with your parents’ illnesses and subsequent deaths.[/quote]

This right here.

Another angle: “I will be supporting DH in his role as a primary caregiver. I will not be a primary caregiver. You need to keep in mind my role as you and DH discuss long-term options.”[/quote]

But OP has already said the SIL’s spouse is on the chart and the other SIL does not have one. OP is the only one not participating and her husband is doing only half of the time everyone else does. I mean their choice but they are really not doing their share. [/quote]

Um, yes. Of the three direct children, OP’s DH is indeed doing “his share.” OP is not obligated to do anything here. Good for BIL that he is, but that’s voluntary, not obligation.[/quote]

This is OP here.
My husband is doing what he can. He sees his mom half a day per week. He keeps her company and he takes her out to the local park where they buy a cup of coffee or an ice cream. He does any jobs that need doing in her house on the day he's with her. He also takes care of the administrative and financial side of things from afar (usually online).

My husband is the only one of the 3 children who works full-time so he can't spend more time with her. The half day he spends with her he makes up by working longer hours on other days.

SILs don't work, but they have alternative incomes through inheritance and/ or investments. So they have more time to spend with MIL. They live 30-40 minutes away from MIL, we live 1 hr 30 mins away, so in the event of an emergency or a crisis it's the SILs who go to MIL's house as they can get there quicker.[/quote]

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