Reply to How to Fix This DH and MIL Issue

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Just tell your kids the truth, you were caught off guard and responded poorly in the moment.  Yes, you should tell MIL the truth.  And also tell her that you're not sure how comfortable your mom is with sharing the news, that you didn't know your dh was telling anyone about it, and that you'd appreciate it if she'd keep it private.  [/b] Your bigger issue here is with dealing with your dh.[/quote]

This is how I would handle the situation. If you feel your husband is an over-sharer, you probably need to be very direct with him when something as sensitive as this comes up in the future. I actually agree with your husband, but he needs to respect your boundaries.

This concern of yours triggered me:

[i]Also, we may be seeing my dad next month (my parents are divorced). There is a long, ugly history between my parents. I didn't want to risk having one of our kids slip up and mention something about grandma's cancer to my dad, and I didn't want to start dragging my kids into the messy adult world of "don't talk about grandma around grandpa."[/i]

Your parents are adults. Why are you, as an adult, trying to smooth over their relationship and keep the peace? It is not your responsibility. To me, this sounds like an unresolved childhood issue. Maybe I'm wrong. Regardless, policing your children to make sure they "don't talk about grandma around grandpa" seems very emotionally unhealthy. You are putting children's feelings and concerns behind those of adults who are responsible for processing their own damn emotions and reconciling their own marital history. I don't feel you're setting a good example for your kids. I'm sorry. If your father cannot behave civilly and show compassion for his daughter, grandchildren, mother of his daughter and grandmother to his grandchildren, he is a messed up person. I would set him straight or stay away. [/quote]

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