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[quote=Anonymous]Op here. Thanks for the post. It’s never about the card, right?  Jsut like it’s never about the sock on the floor or the dirty dishes in the sink. 
I think it’s about feeling under appreciated and taken for granted throughout the year. For the last several years. I think it’s about feeling resentful and burned out as the default parent, the carrier of the mental load, while also being the breadwinner for the last couple years.
I do things for the family and for my dh and it’s like he assumes it’s just my job to do it, to remember, to handle, to sort out. But he gets put off when I ask him to run the dishwasher, put the clothes away instead of dumping them on the bed, etc.
For one day, I’d like to make no decisions. Take no initiative. Not take care of, feed, plan, clothe, bathe, remember, sort etc. I’d like my dh to take care of me, appreciate me, SEE me, and acknowledge me. Listen to me. Appreciate that this house runs smoothly bc of my efforts. 
I want to be seen.

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’d love a random card or flowers on a Tuesday in January, too.
But I don’t get it.
So the fact that I’ve specifically asked for a card is hurtful.
It’s ok to want what you want. It’s even better to ask for it, instead of hoping silently and being disappointed. It’s incredibly hurtful to be ignored after communicating something.[/quote]

NP. OP, please sit down and examine -- if you can get past the emotion -- why you are so, so invested. It's OK to BE invested, but do you even understand why? Were you raised in a family where cards and gestures meant a lot, so you expect them now too? Or conversely, did you grow up in a family where little things like Mother's Day, Valentine's Day, or even big likes like birthdays, were not really acknowledged and you felt hurt when you saw friends or relatives getting a big deal made over them? I'm being serious with you here, not snarky. You mentioned that it had been a good week with your DH and you even had special time together this past week, but you then devalue that somewhat by indicating he also must hew to your requests for today. I'd also note that today isn't even over yet but you're already so upset you're crying and posting.

So think about the bigger picture, not just cards. Yes, "it's incredibly hurtful to be ignored after communicating something." But does your DH ignore you after you communicate about the truly important things? Things about your kids, your marriage? Is it possible you focus so much on specific gestures, for specific days of the year, that you don't see he does keep up with the things that matter more? I'm not here to say he's perfect or anything, I'm saying, can you step back from your potent emotions enough to ask why this means SO much to you, and if bigger issues are getting lost in all the focus on small ones? [/quote][/quote]

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