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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I love my second child. We were on the fence and had him when his sister was 4. He is the joy of our family. But the one thing I didn’t realize is that there are no breaks with two little kids. One kid always needs me. Two needy little kids are hard for even a trained nanny or my husband to handle, and same goes for me.The parts of me I started to reclaim after the eldest toilet trained, weaned, and began STTN (exercise class, dinners with the girls, book club, solo travel) around age 2.5/3 are gone. The logistics of two (clothes, schedules, different kids of picky eating, trading illnesses, different needs) on top of running a household, a demanding full time job, the pandemic, aging parents, and day to day responsibilities for me is overwhelming. I have a very engaged husband but it’s just too much. It’s been a liability for my career, my marriage, my body, and my health. You have to be so much more selfless and patient to be a mom to two instead of one. The demands are greater and you have less reserves and are older. It’s just very hard. In ways I didn’t expect not being a FTM. I thought I would get myself back after number 2, but I’m not even close. I feel like a stereotypical exhausted mom
Who let herself go and it’s aged me terribly. I love my kids and I can’t imagine life without them but my god, it’s insane to try to be a good parent, wife, daughter, homeowner, employee, friend, etc. I feel like I’m constantly juggling plates smashing down upon me. [/quote]

I’m a different poster and just had a baby who is now 5 months and a 4 year old. I have lost myself. I went to try on pants because nothing fit and I was still wearing maternity pants and I looked in the mirror, and did not recognize myself, just a shadow of who I was.

I will also say this, my second is a happy baby who is easy but he was born with only one kidney so there is anxiety and appointments and worries and having to live with this for the rest of his life and my life.  A healthy child is not guaranteed, ever. And with all the help in the world, it will not be easy. [/quote]

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