Reply to Does anyone eat separately from their spouse?

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Reply to "Does anyone eat separately from their spouse?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I cannot figure out from this post if your husband is really a total jerk or if you are just oddly focused on what happens in the kitchen.

The reality is that people have different strengths and weaknesses.

If you look at all the household tasks and your husband does nothing, then he is a jerk. If he fails to acknowledge that you both work part time and are taking classes, then he is a jerk. And once you are married to a jerk, you have a real problem.

But if you look at the totality of everything you both do, are things actually more equitable? Does he take out the trash, sweep, vacuum, do yard work, take care of the cats, take kids to activities, etc? I just cannot tell.

In my house, if I only focused on cleaning and loading the dishwasher, I could have a million complaints. My husband is fine eating a sandwich every night. He also think stacking all the dishes in the sink (without rinsing them and basically in the exact opposite order of how I need to load the dishwasher) is helpful. It drives me batty. But if I really look at all we each do, it is pretty equitable. I’m really messy and he is often picking up after me and he does lots of other stuff.

Trying to make a non-cook become a cook is an exercise in futility. I would look at the big picture and see what else you can do here. Unless he is a jerk.

[/quote]

Ugh — I meant if I only focused on “cooking”. My hsuband does a lot of cleaning — other than the dishwasher.[/quote]

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