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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He said it's a good thing he's not black. His Dad is south Asian. He's medium brown. I am white. His dad does say the baby is like a white version of him, and he is. He looks like a copy of my husband except for the skin color. When our six-year-old said this, we asked him why he would say that. He immediately started crying. I explained that it was very offensive. He's exposed to different people at school and Saturday language school. I'm not sure if he mixed up with words/meanings. Right before he said that, he asked me what color he was. He asks this question a lot. His little brother has lighter skin. I tell him he's a mix of Mommy and Daddy, olive-toned. I don't know if we should be talking more or less about skin color. I want to bring up the topic again.[/quote]

OP you need to have a serious talk with YOUR HUSBAND. In South Asia, colorism is big and real, he may not even noticed how he interacts with his dark skinned son versus the lighter baby or the comments he makes. It may all be still in his subconscious, but your husband and his family have been exposed to a deep, long seeded self hatred of dark skin.  Your kid is just picking upon cues. [/quote]

The other son is not dark at all. Maybe he notices we talk about his brother being white and feels left out. [/quote]

You think?  Your 6 year old is not stupid; he can see that he's darker than the baby.  Then mom and dad keep bringing up the baby being white, and six y/o says, "good thing I'm not black," and you're confused?[/quote]

He's slightly darker. My husband doesn't treat him differently. Sometimes someone is mixed, but it's not apparent. So do I tell him he should identify as brown when to the outside world, he looks white? I have told people my husband is Asian, and they flat out say he doesn't look Asian. I feel like if my kids tell people they're mixed, many people will say they don't look mixed. I think that's why my husband just wanted to consider them white. Compared to him, they look white. [/quote]

Woa, your husband has issues. Why is he so keen to identify them as white? Why aren’t you just saying you’re half-Indian, half-white? That’s what we told our kids. No one is asking them to choose a race at that age. And yes, sounds like your husband is the cause of this, and you also, because you seem to be clueless about colorism in S Asia and more generally that kids pick up on these types of things. But really, sounds like it starts with your husband. You can justify all you want, but clearly you and your husband have given your 6 yr old issues, due to your preference for white skin. Please do better for his sake, and for your baby’s. [/quote]

Because my husband isn't Indian. Why does this forum always lump south Asian to mean India? There are lots of south Asian countries. It's like saying all East Asians are Chinese. [/quote]

Well, half-Pakistani, Nepalese, whichever S Asian country your husband is from. Not sure how that changes anything with regard to your issue??[/quote]

Its annoying, that's all. People constantly call him Indian, and it bugs him. It's like when people get your name wrong 😆 Even my parents say he's Indian 😆

[/quote]

But below yo u say he doesn't tell people he's from Myanmar? Why not tell them if he is offended when people get it wrong? It sounds like your DH has some weird issues around his ethnicity/skin color that your son is picking up on.[/quote]

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