Reply to How did you not kill each other during the baby years?!

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[quote=Anonymous]OP I feel you, it’s a shock to me that my marriage survived the first year. It’s such a huge life shift and dealing with all the changes and being constantly needed on very little sleep is unlike any challenge our relationship had ever gone through. We survived, my husband does a lot without my having to ask, and we decided to even have a second pretty close in age to our first. It will get better with communication, and honestly over time with more sleep. Also, as soon as I stopped breastfeeding (at 6 months in my case), I felt immediately less ragey. I think the hormones were giving me PPA that manifested in a lot of control freak rage that I could only recognize after I stopped. Not at all suggesting you should stop now, but just know that your hormones may be amplifying how you feel currently.

But yes, the mental load women carry blows. We are biologically wired to care about this kid’s needs in a way that I just think men aren’t and without communication, it adds so much to our plate. I hate that the only solution is to feel like the manager of the household to delegate tasks (that my husband too is perfectly capable of thinking about on his own but just doesn’t???) but doing so eventually creates systems of better balance. You can do it! And it’s ok to feel pissed in the meantime![/quote]

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