Reply to How did you not kill each other during the baby years?!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I don’t know why evolution did this, probably so we would break up and to find other sperm, but I’ve never hated my husband the way I did when our baby was little and objectively, he also SUCKED. He does so much more around the house now, two years in. It makes no sense. For sure I was more inclined physically to be mad and also obviously you’re both exhausted. It’s really hard and I think it’s a real phenomenon that should be talked about more so people know it’s coming.

One thing that helped is we had to pick things that he does EVERY DAY. So he is always responsible for the dishes before bed, for washing the pump parts before bed, for evening bath. Or whatever is your list but that really helped a lot. It was just impossible for him to take initiative on other stuff. He would say because I was bossy/already doing it, I would say because I am a functional adult.

I don’t know but this has gotten so much better. It left a scar, absolutely. There’s no question. But I’m back to believing that our marriage is a long road that will have hills and valleys and we’ve been able to enjoy enjoying each other a lot more lately. For a long time we only enjoyed enjoying the baby together, so it’s progress. [/quote]

+1,000
I wanted to divorce and then kill my husband for the first year of both kids’ lives. Sleep deprivation + upheaval + hormones. 
Second the suggestion to have things that he does every day. Make it routine. Attempt to give him the things that you despise and he’s okay with, if such chores exist. 
TBH that first year I wasn’t proactively doing things either.  
It gets better, OP, it really does. [/quote]

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