Reply to My DD changed her mind on her ED school

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[quote=Anonymous]I feel like these are just life lessons.

You make choices in life....there are pros/cons to that and life will play out based on your choices in various ways.  If you don't like where you've landed, regroup and move on - whether that be to make the best of it, give it a chance, or make a change.

It's also not healthy to covet what others have - their outcome always more complicated in reality than it seems from the eyes of the person in envy. Everyone has to make choices - you can't have everything that everyone else has.

Example
Apply ED - accepted
Pros- enjoy senior year with less stress on grades, likely less work on applications etc., get good news early

Cons - not part of the Spring excitement, will always wonder about other schools you didn't apply to, lose opportunities to make financial comparisons

I think it's important for kids to really think these things through, and/or to "own" their decision.  If you decide later it wasn't a good choice, that's ok.  But, then do something about it but be responsible about it (like - don't back out on ED for another school).

I feel like the ones who regret it later are doing so because they are envious of where classmates accepted - and this is not taking full ownership of their original choice.

First of all, just because someone else with your stats was accepted to some other "more desired" school, doesn't mean you would have been.  Second, those kids were probably envious of you for not having to worry so much about (and do more work on) applications and grades  after mid-Dec.

It's very easy at this time of year to look at others and be envious or question why others were accepted.

I know we all want our kids to be happy, so regretting ED may be hard to see for the parent.  But this seems like feeding into that isn't good for their growth.

As for a child who chose ED and learned later it was a bad match.  This is just not doing the work upfront.  I realize kids change, but really change that much since the Fall?

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