Reply to Seeking input from parents if middle schoolers

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "Seeking input from parents if middle schoolers "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My kid is miserable (7th grade) and I'm at a loss for what to do.  She says she has no friends.  I know that she is friendly with a ton of girls in her class and they are nice girls and even dd doesn't say they are mean to her.  She says that when she sits with them, they don't 'include' her... they talk about what they did together last weekend, etc. that she can't participate in the conversation about.

I'm considering reaching out to those girls' parents (whom I know from ES) to see if they could somehow get her included in weekend invites but haven't yet because I think it could backfire (what will those parents actually tell their kids?)

I don't know if I have tangible advice for OP, except [b]to try to make sure your kid is solidly in a friendship group before going to MS.[/b]  But that's easier said than done-- by MS it is kind of the kids' turn to navigate these things and as much as we try, we are more spectators than anything else. [/quote]

I’m sorry your daughter is struggling—I’ve been there. But I don’t think the bolder will necessarily help much. The friend groups always seem to reshuffle a bit in MS. It’s like groups from different schools coming together and a new pecking order is established. I think encouraging your kids to be open to new people, new groups and not to fixate on their elementary friends or whoever the “in” group is will serve them well.[/quote]

Agree with this take.  The friendship groups totally shift in middle school.  It really isn't about having a group from elementary.

What is happening to your daughter happened to me in 7th grade.  I had a lunch table and for whatever reason no one liked me.  I never got invited to any outside school activities and they all talked about everything in front of me.  It was awful and I am in my 40s and remember it to this day.  BUT....it made me a better person too.  More empathetic.  More inclusive.  More aware of not doing the same thing to others.

What happens with kids is they feel "stuck".  The lunch tables are set for this year, she will probably tell you.  She can't find a new group, she will probably tell you.  And to her, this is totally true.  It's a lot to ask a kid that age to pivot and put herself out there in a setting where she already feels unsure of herself and uncomfortable.

What you should do - get her involved in things outside of school with different groups of kids, tell her that this will pass and she should work to find a new group in 8th grade.  The summer is always a huge reset.

And no, you can't say anything to the parents.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics