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[quote=Anonymous]Let me guess, op, books before boys was how you raised your daughter? There’s a reason she’s putting up with this nonsense, are you sure she isn’t into drugs or bad stuff, or isn’t supporting someone who is? Why would she want to “help him” “buy his *own* place”, that’s the kind of nonsense you teach your kids about at hopefully a much earlier age.  Why didn’t this happen?

You need to be concerned with your daughter and why this is attractive to her, as well as seeming like a good idea.

I hope too that you haven’t run off every boyfriend she’s had because “she’s too young” “she needs to get an education” “she’d better not even think of marriage and family yet”, you need to do a deep dive into why this guy is who she wants.

Since she’s an adult, you can’t stop her from dating him.  You also can’t kick him out, not unless you own the property and are renting to her, and even then, she’s allowed legally to have overnight guests, you can’t show up at noon and say “time’s up, John”. 
You really screwed up on this, op. 
You also have no way to make him give you or your daughter money, not unless you own the property and add him to the lease.  Be careful that you don’t come off as trying to extort him, I did get that vibe from you, and yes, I think this guy is bad news, people don’t just leave a place and not tell you why.  He probably got evicted or his previous girlfriend kicked him out. Your daughter is feeding you a line about why he’s there. Does she really believe it?

I also wasn’t a fan of “my best friend says..” maybe your best friend is right, but you come off as an extortionist who needs to pay up if your best friend tells you something you don’t like, which may be why other more respectable guys have ran, I would have.  I wouldn’t want to date someone only to have you wonder who I hugged last week because “my best friend saw you do it”, a best friend I probably don’t know, and who probably made hugging my mother sound sleazy.

How exactly do you expect your daughter to support herself if you just stop paying her expenses? That’s the school solution, pardon the word choice, but what exactly do you expect her to do?  She’s probably set up her classes and study time counting on your support.  Did you formalize this support?  You aren’t serving your daughter well if you didn’t, something you should have thought about and something that you should take care of today if you truly want to do this right. Set up a trust, it doesn’t have to be a large trust, but a trust so that funds will be dispersed to her.

As of now, you sound like a controlling mom (or dad) who has driven the daughter into the arms of a looser.

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