Reply to Would I be wrong to not include my mom in my child’s first birthday party?

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Reply to "Would I be wrong to not include my mom in my child’s first birthday party?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ugh! What is with calling the stepmom a bonus mom? Ridiculous. You can't stand your own mother then why go around calling someone else a bonus mom when she has not birthed you?[/quote]

Yeah, I’m a stepmom and I would feel so awful for my SD’s mom is she called me “bonus mom”.  Especially if my DH had cheated on her mom and broken her heart.  I can’t think of anything worse than my husband betraying my trust and live and then all of a sudden my child embracing a “bonus mom” who she enjoys more than my heartbroken self.

I think it’s truly cruel to call someone a “bonus mom” when your actual mom is still around and is heartbroken about the fracturing of your family.  By making things more positive toward your stepmom, you are making it worse at the expense of your mom.[/quote]

No.  OP is allowed to have a good relationship with her step mom and consider her a second mother without feeling guilty.  [/quote]

She is allowed to use a term like “bonus mom”, of course.  People are allowed to be jerks.  And she had to live with the consequences, which is that her mother is even more hurt, defensive, and angry.

When you know someone is emotionally fragile, the decent behavior is to proceed with even more care and kindness.  OP’s response seems to be, “Your heartbreak is a drag.  Nobody likes you and neither do I.  I’m going to replace you, give someone else your title, and then expect you to pretend that none of this is hurtful!”[/quote]

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