Reply to We are always the ones who spend money traveling to see in laws

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If dad didn’t raise him, ditched his mother and didn’t pay childcare, it’s strange why your hubs feels this obligation to spend money and time on annual visits and make his wife resentful. [/quote]

Maybe they were hoping to get on the gravy train but that isn't looking very likely.  It's ok to just say no.[/quote]

There are a lot of cruel responses on this thread.

It’s kind of interesting to see how the unfavored children are treated. At the same time that people defend the dad’s right to give his other children a lot of money and gifts, they berate the OP for even thinking that her family should be treated anywhere near equally. It’s an insight into bullying mindset and why it’s so hard to change once the dynamic is set.

It sounds like this is the FIL and stepmom they’re visiting. Subconsciously I think that your husband knows that if he stops making an effort his dad will be content to let the relationship fade. The stepmom is probably quietly waiting for this to happen. He doesn’t want to see the obvious and he’s been conditioned to accept being treated as less than his entire life. I feel for him. Coming to terms that your parent doesn’t care about you is tough.

I think it’s best to make a case for skipping a visit a year at a time. It’s less painful that way for  your husband.

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:roll: OP never once mentioned she even liked these people it's all about the money. What they are spending and what they aren't getting. Gross.[/quote]

I like them fine. They are there and we have a cordial, surface level relationship. There isn't much to say. They aren't really interested in us or the kids and even when we do visit, there's not much quality time they spend with the kids but that's to be expected I guess if you're not used to small children being around.[/quote]

Why do you keep imposing yourselves on these people? Their actions couldn't be more clear that they aren't interested in a relationship. This is a problem with an obvious solution.[/quote]

Because my husband wants to have a relationship with his dad. It's also confusing because they do want us to come, I'm sure but they don't want to make the effort. We didn't come one and got a lot of guilt about it from them. [/quote]

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