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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is grounds for divorce. Suck it up and go. "I'm tired" is not a valid excuse not to go to your MILs funeral.[/quote]

How incredibly dramatic you are.

OP, don't listen to people like this who want to guilt you into doing what THEY think is best. They will not be there to help you with the toddlers in Wyoming, nor will they be there to help you nurse your unvaccinated, and therefore highly susceptible to infection, toddlers when they come down with omicron.

As a much wiser PP noted: Talk to your DH about how the children just got to see FIL when FIL was alive. That is valuable--more valuable than taking the kids back there for their mere presence.[/quote]

This is not about DH’s family, this is about DH and his needs. They won’t be flying every week to go to a funeral. This is a one time occurrence that also signifies a seismic shift in DH’s emotional world. Why does OP count more than her husband in this pretty unique life event. His life event.[/quote]

Cool the hysteria. "Seismic"? "Unique"? The death was expected. The DH's family spent very substantial time visiting FIL before FIL died. They were fortunate to do so, as was the FIL fortunate to see them before he passed away. OP is not saying SHE "counts more" than her DH. She is balancing his grief -- not a seismic, unique thing, but a very common thing, PP -- with the fact she has two children too young to be vaccinated and also young enough to require hands-on attention every waking minute.

The DH would get them all there and then discover he is entirely taken up with paying attention to his mother, siblings, relatives he hasn't seen in a while, etc. etc. Sometimes it is fine, and even salutary, to take up one's role of the adult child and focus on the family of origin without having to "need" your wife and two young children there merely for the sake of their showing up to be counted.

Eh, all the above is for OP, really, not for you, PP, since it sounds as if you would expect your own family to be glued to you for every sad but quite normal life event. This was not a person dying suddenly and tragicallly, to be very blunt. This isn't about reeling people in dire emotional straits after a vast shock, but it's about a command performance.[/quote]

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