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[quote=Anonymous]I don't think yelling is the worst thing. Being allowed to be upset is okay. It's okay for your kid and it's okay for you. Obviously you don't want to have a scary meltdown, but a loud tone when someone isn't listening is how we are heard. It's not bad to be aggressive.

Women are taught not to be assertive and I noticed that a lot of my fellow moms seemed to carry that into their parenting. Like, never saying "johnny! Get off the slide now we have to go!" Instead, they'd tie themselves into knots with a "mindful" tone or voice. "johnny? Wouldn't you like to come down from there so we can go home so mommy can do her work now?"

I mean, if you were johnny, what would you do? Say no and keep on playing? I would.

I am a nice white lady who sometimes yells. My husband sometimes yells ,usually at inanimate objects. Our kid sometimes yells, too. I've noticed that other white ladies don't really seem to understand our family. I don't know what to tell them... But I think it's healthier to express frustration than it is to put on a facade.

My advice to you is to allow yourself time to be selfish. Let the television nanny your kids for a few hours. Dump them on your husband. Don't ask!! Dump! Raising a small child is like living life in five minute intervals. Everytime you settle into getting a task done there will be an interruption and yes, that is maddening... So you need to breathe deep and not punish yourself for being maddened. (And obviously, don't punish your kids, either.) It's okay to be annoyed when things are annoying.

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