Reply to Unhealed Betrayed Wives

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There's a ton here. Ranting and raving about how awful cheaters are on every thread, name calling, immature snarkiness. My ex-husband had an affair, we separated, we reconciled, he did it again, we divorced. It was painful, it was ugly, but craps happens. Heal and get over it, and move on with your life. Giving non-useful advice isn't going to heal you. And all the AP/cheating husband name calling in the world isn't going stop them.

Do betrayed spouses get therapy, or is bleeding all over DCUM therapy for you?

Just wondering.[/quote]

I'm glad for you if you are in a healthy place.  For some people, the destruction of ones marriage has life long negative implications, and also for one's children.  It's not easy to just shrug off the trauma when you still have to live it, for example, raising the cheater's children for about 20 years.

And I say that as someone who has forgiven my dad and step mom for cheating and wrecking our family, and who is friendly with my cheating, gaslighting ex, to the point where we do extended family vacations together.

But there are some wounds that take decades to heal.  Decades.[/quote]

OP here. I get it. I've been there. Was married for over 15 years, he moved in with the other woman, my child has been in therapy, he even brought AP to our final divorce hearing. I've been through hell. I know what that betrayal feels like. With that said, it's still a choice to rant and name call all over a public forum. It's not going to change the betrayed's situation. It's not going to make cheaters not cheat. Betrayed spouses are not going to change people's minds by calling them names. All it does is keep them stuck, unhealed and dare I say, bitter. [/quote]

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