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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you have access to your dcs' grades?

My parents did not when I was in college in the mid 1990s. It never occurred to us or me.

However, my ds's top choice is an expensive private that is states away that we would likely pay for full freight unless there is a little merit money. I feel that because of this we need to know where he stands and be able to support him if he needs it. Is this a strings attached idea? I don't consider myself a controlling or helicopter mom at all. But this is a ton of money.

He also has been accepted to our state flagship which is just 30 minutes away and also our alma mater. I feel more ambivalent about having access to grades at this school and I am not sure why.

Also this is something that could be a year by year thing. Like maybe just have access his freshman year and if things are going ok then back off.

Thoughts?[/quote]

It sounds like you are giving your kid a scholarship. Most colleges have strings attached as far as grades. That is basically how I would frame it. Maybe the kid needs to front some of the expenses, and gets reimbursed if grades are adequate. Make sure the bar you set is doable. If the kid isn’t taking your money, then grades are not your business.

Maybe some of the money from is free and clear from you without needing to see grades. Above a certain amount I’d want to see proof that my money was being put to good use.

My friend’s brother started taking classes, and then dropped them early enough to get a refund for a couple semesters before his parents realized what was happening. Unacceptable.

Also, I went to college in the early 90s, and also cannot phathom allowing my parents free access to my grades. However, Uncle Sam, my loan lender and I paid for my education plus a modest scholarship.[/quote]

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