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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For a few reasons:

- so he knows we know without us having to ask or nag
- [b]so we can intervene if needed - he would NEVER ask us[/b]
- it's expensive and it is an investment
- he would be states away and it is a way to be able to know what is going on 
-it would be conditional and maybe just freshman year[/quote]

This is the definition of helicopter parenting. You son is an adult. He needs to figure out when to intervene himself. If he's not asking you, it's because he doesn't want you to intervene. You probably think it's because he doesn't know he needs help, but I guarantee you, by the time he's 18, he knows when he's screwing up. Let him breathe and figure out how to fix failure on his own. Otherwise you'll be intervening at his job, in his marriage, etc.[/quote]

I get what you are saying re the slippery slope. What it comes down to for me I guess is the financial outlay for college and the responsibility we have and he has to make sure it is money well spent. [/quote]

By the time your kid has gotten through the college application process and chosen his courses for freshman year, I would think that you would have decided whether you view the tuition as “money well spent.“

We committed to our kids that we would pay for their college education, and that is what we are doing. The rest is up to them. If they party their way through and/or flunk out, that too is on them.

That said, nothing in their lives to do is indicated that there is any likelihood of that happening.  If I had a high school senior who showed any indication of that, then we would be making a different plan for post graduation.[/quote]

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