Reply to Kind of Felt Uncomfortable Because of My Ethnicity On a Tour

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[quote=SAM2][quote=Anonymous][quote]If you think questions about your ancestry or ethnic background are offensive, what is it you find offensive about those questions?  Please educate me.[/quote]
I find it offensive that despite the fact that I was born and raised in the United States and am as American as the next guy, that I am still treated as a foreigner.  I find it offensive that when my colleague who is an immigrant but white is not being asked questions such as "Where are you from?" that make him feel like an outsider or foreigner, I am.  You assume o r at least make me feel like you assume that I am not from here, I am not American and I am not "one of us" but don't treat the Caucasian person who is a foreigner that way.

Until you know how much importance *I* place on my ethnic heritage, then you shouldn't place more importance on it than I do because otherwise you imply that my heritage is more important than I, as an individual, am.[/quote]
Thanks for your response, and to others who responded to my question.  To summarize, it seems that if I ask a question about your ancestry or ethnic background, you will be offended because you assume I am making all sorts of negative judgments about you, and implicitly questioning whether you are "American enough."  Is that a correct summary of your view?  If so, your assumption is both unfortunate and inaccurate (at least for me personally, and perhaps for many others).  Like I said, people are curious about other people; that's just human nature.  If I ask about you and your background, that doesn't mean I'm judging you.

If I meet someone named "Kaysone Phomvihane" at some school event, I'd almost certainly ask about the origin of his name.  So why would you think I'm questioning his right to be at that school or in the United States?  I'd be asking because it's the kind of name I don't hear every day, and I'd be very curious about its origin.  I'd really hope for a simple response of "[i]It's Laotian[/i]," or even better "[i]It's Laotian. Even though I am from Kentucky, my parents wanted me to have a traditional name[/i]."  Those might put us on the path of getting to know one another better, and perhaps even liking each other.  But if he is secretly thinking (or even saying), "[i]You jerk! How dare you ask me about my name when we've just met! Quit questioning my right to live here! I'm just as American as you are![/i]," then our conversation might not go so well.

I'm not saying there aren't rude jerks out there, or that some people don't make inappropriate judgments based on appearance or name or accent.  We've all encountered those people.  Those kind of people are going to judge even if they never talk to you at all.  It seems that the type of person who asks you a question is at least open to some discussion about it, which I think is a positive step.

Thanks again for your responses.  They are interesting.

By the way, does it matter what [b]my[/b] apparent ethnicity is?  If I'm somewhat foreign-looking or foreign-sounding myself, does that change your assumptions when I ask about your background?[/quote]

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