Reply to Picky / Not Picky?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Picky / Not Picky?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've been married for almost ten years, have two children, and have lived through some tough experiences with DH (major health problem, child with special needs for a few years) and through all the usual ups and downs of daily life, work, budget, etc.

I've come to think that the traits that are really crucial for a happy marriage are not all the ones that most people think about.  In no particular order:

Temperament is really important.  You don't want to go through life with someone moody, overly pessimistic, or easily overwhelmed.  How do they handle stress?  Fatigue/sleep deprivation?  Do they get snappish?  Mean?  Blame you when things go wrong?  How do they handle disappointment?  Setbacks?

How do they handle disagreements?  How are they during a fight?  Do they fight fairly?  (not bring up old issues, not call names, listen to your view, try to find solutions, maintain respect, not resort to passive aggressive behavior, etc.)  Accept responsibility for their mistakes?

Financially responsible.  I wouldn't worry so much about someone who is disorganized or misses payments-- as long as you can be the one who handles the bills.  But you don't want someone with a lot emotional issues around money or someone who doesn't share your values about saving and spending or someone who gambles/takes too much risk.

Don't marry someone selfish.  Once you have children, especially, you'll want someone who is generous with his energy and time.  (My husband is indefatigable in responding to every little request or need my children have-- almost too much so, for their own sake!)

Sexual compatibility-- You should be in the same ballpark regarding desired frequency.  The importance of sex will rise and fall over the course of a marriage, but as long as you can talk to each other about your needs and respect your partner, you should be able to work out the details.
[/quote]
I agree with this 100%, and unfortunately, many of these things become obvious only after you've been married for a while. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics