Reply to Way to get past my resentment towards lazy DH, knowing he will not change?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He sounds like a loser. How entitled is he that he can’t get 3 things done on his list? I’m guessing he can at work—somehow.  I couldn’t stay married to him. [/quote]
This dynamic is incredibly common with a spouse with ADHD. It takes so much more effort for their brain to succeed at executive functioning at work they ofte drop the ball at home. Not an excuse, but an underlying explanation. [/quote]

I have ADHD and somehow I magically get sh*t done. I think this is a combination of entitled and lazy. [/quote]

Agreed. 💯. It takes major effort on my part to remember to put things back where they belong, to keep my files organized, to “see” things that need to be done. I’m famous for opening drawers and forgetting to close them. But I’ve trained myself to walk back and look at the drawers. I’ve worked really hard at keeping my keys in one place so I don’t lose them. And yes I have a full time job. The things op is describing is laziness compounded by attention deficit.

Note to parents of kids with add or adhd—making excuses for them or doing things for them because of their special needs will end up adults like this dh. [/quote]

Yes, some people don't realize that people who have their shit together usually have come up with systems to ensure that. It isn't that they magically have an easier time with things.  I don't think I have ADHD (def not diagnosed), but similar to PP, I used to lose things, leave stuff open, put stuff in the wrong spot, lock myself out of the car/house....  It was wildly inconvenient way to live, so I work to identify problems and train myself to fix them.  Now, my life is less chaotic and more things get done than when I was younger.  I think it was called Adulting a few years back... do people still say that?

For OP, the spouse doesn't seem to think any of this is a problem for him, and he's not willing to change because it is a problem for her.  I don't know what you do with that situation.[/quote]

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