Reply to Is there a kind way to stop MIL from using a pet name for my kid?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Is there a kind way to stop MIL from using a pet name for my kid?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Now might be the time to ask your DC what she REALLY thinks. If she doesn’t like it have her ask grandma. Please don’t call me that ! My name is Sarah. [/quote]

I mean, this is not a terrible approach.

But I also think we do our kids a service by teaching tolerance and an understanding that we can't control our environment and everything around us.  There is no reason in this thread so far to think that grandma is anything other than a loving presence in the child's life who wants to bond with her.  This use of a nickname is not malicious or manipulative or intended to cause any harm at all.  In fact, quite the opposite.  So why not just let it go?[/quote]

But it is manipulative, even if it’s not intentional. Grandma is trying to co-opt a level of intimacy that the parents have built with the child. This is not a nickname that was born organically out of grandma-granddaughter relationship.

If grandma tried to pull this with an adult, she would be shut down pretty quickly. Most adults I know would find it uncomfortable if a friend decided to use a pet name their husband uses. Yet we think it’s perfectly ok to violate children’s intimacy boundaries this way.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics