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[quote=Anonymous]People are responding with not helpful advice.  This isn’t about whether the Op thinks they are “soul mates” or having unrealistic expectations.

When your dram man looks like Chris Evans and makes $1m a year, but you end up finding yourself madly in love with someone who looks more “regular” and makes $100k and you have real chemistry and are totally aligned with what you want out of life…… that is NOT settling.

When you are dating someone for a year and they are kind and good enough looking and want children and a similar life to you, and you enjoy their company and probably “love “ them and certainly respect them, but maybe don’t have super strong flutters with them, but you are 30 and want kids so you push aside the little voice in your head that you’re not exactly super excited about this person….. that is settling.

I don’t understand these people saying that if the OP is in love with his GF he should just marry her.  What does that have to do with the question??? And I don’t understand the people saying that OP needs to grow up and we don’t all get to marry our soul mates. He’s not talking about that. He’s talking about scenario 2 above. And if I were madly in love with someone but knew they only felt about me scenario 2….. I would not want to marry that person with that info.

OP talk to your GF. Talk to an objective best friend or family member you trust who likes and knows the GF but may be able to provide third party advice. And probably talk to a counselor.  [/quote]

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