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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Actually, DH has already said he’s tired of this dynamic and he’s willing to stay in a hotel. So I actually am confident that he and I will both leave. -OP[/quote]

OP, it sounds like the stay is otherwise pleasant?

If yes, instead of trying to get the inlaws to serve adequate meals, change your actions. You know that they’re only comfortable serving a tiny breakfast and dinner at their house. No amount of talking about food will result in adequate meals, you know this. So, just tell them that you’re going to out for lunch every day. Ignore comments and grumbling. Every day at 11:45am you get the kids and drive to the dinner. This is your routine on all visits from now on. Google grey rock for how to respond—it’s basically how to not engage. You decide before you go that you’re not going to let their comments bother you and you’re not going to engage.

I find that when something is predictable and routine, old people respond much better. For example, it’s much better to simply go to the dinner every single day at the same time than to make that decision “as needed.” It sounds counterintuitive, but skipping a day because you think maybe you’ll be okay with a bowl of cereal and a banana makes it worse. It creates anxiety and it becomes a commentary on their food portions. A predictable daily routine is best. [/quote]

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