Reply to Is it a red flag if someone is in therapy?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Brother starting dating a new girl and within the first few weeks, she said that she needed to discuss her feelings with her therapist. She is on some meds and sees a therapist. She also seems to have a lot of issues and baggage. She is mid 30s. DH and I think these are all bad signs and think brother should move on.

Would you think someone on meds and seeing a therapist regularly would be a red flag?

I feel like it should be all fun and good times in the beginning.[/quote]

What does “fun and good times in the beginning” have to do with therapy and medication? Do you think people in therapy don’t have fun?

Unless brother has asked your opinion, you need to MYOB. What’s more concerning is how enmeshed you are - he’s telling you about her “baggage”, and you seem to think you’re the gatekeeper of who joins your family.

Has your brother actually stated he’s unhappy?[/quote]

This! I have mental health issues and baggage and when I was dating my now-husband that was not fun and good times. But our relationship was basically all fun and good times! I did try to break up with DH at one point because I didn’t feel emotionally healthy enough to have a relationship, but he pointed out to me that breaking up probably wouldn’t actually fix anything. He was happy with me despite my issues that I was working on and didn’t drag him into, I was happy with him, and after fourteen years of marriage we are still happy. If our relationship was unhealthy and not fun and happy, for *any* reason (not just my mental health), sure that would be a problem. But that wasn’t the case.

And yeah regardless this is not OP’s issue, it’s her brother’s. Everybody wants the perfect SIL and mental health issues or no, we often don’t get that. (Although all my husband’s brothers and sisters think I’m great, so there’s that). [/quote]

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