Reply to DD’s butt pinched in the pool

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think DH did the right thing. You don't learn to stand for yourself if he ignores what you ask and stands up for you. All you learn is that your dad will ignore what you want and do what he wants in situations like this. The next time it happens she's way more likely not to tell you guys. I know because the way my dad ignored me when I was bullied as a kid meant that I never told him about the numerous time I was sexually assaulted. I never told anyone, because I couldn't trust how they'd react.

Have a conversation with her about her choices if something like this happens again, but they should be her choices, not yours. [/quote]

All of this, especially the follow-up conversation. She was very clear about how she wanted her dad to react when she shared it with him. You think it empowers her to completely ignore how she wants this handled? No. That would send the message that her parents aren’t the ppl she can trust in her scariest moments. She did the right thing, dad did the right thing in honoring the response she wanted in that moment. Now you have a conversation as a family about how wrong their behavior was, how she was right to come to you, and other ways you all might handle this behavior in the future because it’s never ok for anyone to do that to her. [/quote]

I agree with ths.  I think it also opens up a great opportunity for your DH (both of you in fact) to talk with her about her response, his response in light of her request, and how he hopes her future boyfriends/spouse/etc will also support her and back her up.  He can explain what he would have liked to have said/done but how he measured his response to her request to drop it.  Knowing his response (would he have caused a scene or would he have addressed it quietly but firmly?  Not knowing may have affected her call)  may give her more empowerment going forward.  He should also thank her for being confident enough to tell him.  Keeping that line of communication/confidence open will be so go for them as she gets older.  A followup talk will give all of you a chance to talk it out and show her that her parents have her back.  [/quote]

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