Reply to People with a lot of friends and a big support system -- how do they do it? (Question about sister)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So, we had a lot of this outpouring (but not SM posts) when our daughter has brain cancer. Here is what I chalk it up to:

1. We live in a neighborhood that is pretty tight. But we have participated in that by hosting large potlucks, movie nights, etc. While we aren’t best friends with all the neighbors, they “know” us. When we had to call an ambulance, three different families sent someone over to help and I left one kid with them as we went to the hospital.

2. We belong to a church and attend a regular Sunday school. Church people tend to naturally show up for this kind of stuff.

3. My girlfriends from grad school are tight. We do annual trips. They love all over the country but sent stuff to us.

4. We have sometimes asked for help. My husband had surgery one day that there was a freak storm and school was canceled. I sent a message to like 5 empty nest neighbors asking if they could hang with the kids while I took my husband to and from surgery. Two or three of them then coordinated to make it happen.

5. I try to reciprocate. I’m not a natural giver but I do what I can. For example, the neighbor across the street cares at home for his wife with dementia. If I make extra of a meal, we send some over to him. He blows the pine straw off our driveway when he does his own.[/quote]

Best wishes to your daughter.  Do you live in the DMV?  I’m here and it was eye opening to visit my cousin in Texas as she was going through a difficult time.
[/quote]

Yep, it is regional. I am in TX and this is par for the course. Would never happen when I lived in Boston, DC, Miami or SF. Super different culture. Meal trains for 20 meals is very normal. That would be only if your spouse or child passed away in the DMV.[/quote]

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