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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Lol to the idea that telling an adult family member that you want to dust/vacuum the room he lives in at least, say, once a month is “nagging”.

He’s an adult. OP is an adult. This is a shared home. Absolutely nothing wrong with asking him to clean up his room well enough for some light cleaning (which he should do himself but I personally would compromise on that). If his response is to ignore or complain, good time to remind him that he’s 20 and that future roommates, friends, and spouses will be extremely turned off by that kind of behavior.

Nagging? Grow up.[/quote]

There is not one family psychologist that recommends micromanaging your child’s room.

OP is not talking about a common area which is different. But a bedroom…. Really!

Seriously you guys need some therapy if you need to control your 20 year old child’s bedroom.[/quote]

It's not controlling to say it needs to be vacuumed and dusted at least a couple times over the course of the summer. It's not "micromanaging" to expect a fellow adult to show some minimal level of responsibility for their space. I think it's gross to let a room go three months without being dusted or vacuumed, especially if it spends that time covered in dirty clothes and sports equipment (which -- is that getting cleaned before being thrown on the floor? that room is going to stink). That's asking for a baseline level of personal responsibility while sharing a home with someone else.

I'll put it this way. I'm in my 40s, and if my parents come to stay for an extended period, I expect to be able to run the vacuum and wipe down surfaces in their room. It's not nagging for me to say "Hey mom, I was going to vacuum and dust your room today, just FYI" and then expect her to put things away and make space for that activity as necessary. She would think nothing of this. So why is it any different with OP and her son? The people saying no, just close the door and don't mention it are treating this kid in some special way that no other adult gets treated.[/quote]

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