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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm actually on your side with the shower.

Dh's actions ,g etting in your face and arguing were inappropriate,

Stay with me here.  If your son has ADHD a consistent routing is important, pick a time every day for the showers, we find before bed best it's also a good way to relax.

If your son has ADHD it's nearly 1005Guranteed you or DH does too, in this case, it seems like DH.. People with ADHD are notorious for time blindness which in this case means DH really thought he was going to leave in 30 minutes and that you were slowing him down with the shower stuff. People with  ADHD are also notorious for being extremely sensitive and having difficulty managing emotions/emotional reactions can be over the top as was your DH's.  These things can be improved with meds/treatment.

Since your  DH seems unlikely to get help for himself, and it seems you want to stay with him I suggest you read up on ADHD and how to manage the symptoms in kids, adults, marriage etc you'll get a good insight into your son and husband and how to better manage those relationships.[/quote]

very insightful, thank you. I think what some posters aren’t getting is how very strange the behavior is. if I can label it ADHD in my mind and stay calm it might be less conflicted. maybe I should have send DS out of the room and then gone over the day’s schedule. But it’s very hard to stay calm when you have a man suddenly yelling in your face to stop something reasonable out of the middle of nowhere. [/quote]

You  are welcome. I have ADHD . I wasn't diagnosed until my late 30's but I recognize the unreasonable behavior and emotional outbursts.  I could be and sometimes still am a real asshole.. Things have improved for me with meds and therapy,   It would be great if DH is willing. If not you can still help your son and learn to cope with DH.[/quote]

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