Reply to To anyone who has dealt with having a child/adult child with addiction problems

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "To anyone who has dealt with having a child/adult child with addiction problems"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi OP, I am sorry for all you and your son are suffering through.

What I have to share is from my own personal experience. I was the addict in my family - oldest of 3. Both parents with phds, went to prep school in this area etc... my substances of choice were different. I started to use in high school and spiraled out of control in college.

I went to rehab in my early twenties and then straight into a sober living situation for 10 months. This was a brutal period of life for me and the sobriety I experienced was purely done by white knuckling it. My parents took hard advice during this time and basically stripped me of all my support and privileges except for paying for sober living rent. One more slip up and they were going to cut me off and they meant it. They wouldn’t even give me cash for a coffee - if desperate only gift cards.

I’m not going to include all the details of my story because it would take too long and there would be too many ups and downs. But basically my sobriety didn’t last and I had a few more years of ups and downs. I was totally independent though. There was no way I was being helped financially with anything so through it all I had this intense focus to support myself. Essentially long story short I ultimately made it on my own to true sobriety. It wasn’t ultimately between me and my higher power.

That year and a half I spent in rehab and then a sober house (while remaining with the same therapist) were key though. And the financial withdrawal from my parents. Even though in the short run that might have seemed like a failure in ways since I picked up certain substances again, it wasn’t. So many seeds were planted. And not having my parents to fall back on was huge.

Throughout it all I had hope to want to keep living. I had this belief that if I couldn’t see into the future that that meant maybe the future could be good. That kept me going and living and trying.

Throughout it all I openly want to AA, NA, and many therapists and support groups.

My only advice to you would be to let go of whatever being a “private person” means to you in relation to groups. I just sense that whatever is holding you back there will free you in some way. There is no shame or judgment in struggling with addiction or having a dear family member struggle with it. Other posters are right that this is a family disease. Take care of yourself, share what is on your heart with your son, get clear on your own boundaries and where your financial support for him ends, and then follow through.

Best of luck and God speed.

[/quote]

If it is of any comfort it is almost two decades later. I am weirdly the most stable and grounded of all my siblings, am married, have my own child, have had a successful career so far and do pretty well for myself. I joke with people sometimes that God front loaded my problems. It is partially true though. I dug myself into hell and with Gods help, back out. I truly believe that God was watching out for me and put me on the right path. There are so many times I should very well not have made it. Fwiw, I was raised in an agnostic family, but my experience with my addictions, mental illness and how I came to be with my spouse truly lead me to have faith and believe in God. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics