Reply to Divorcing husband for not contributing to household chores

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think the casual attitude toward divorce is awful. The advice should be to marry a man who agrees with your clear expectations on these things. Marry a man who will talk things through, is a good listener, will compromise, and isn't selfish. Marry a feminist. Not "lose your kids for 50% of the time and show them it's okay to walk away when things get hard despite no abuse." Y'all are f'ing up your kids.[/quote]

I am not recommending my kids get married. It is not worth it. Also, my ex was none of those things (he would not compromise, was selfish and barely spoke to me). It is not okay to stay in a marriage that is lopsided or miserable. That is bad for kids. Showing them that it is okay to put your needs first is the most valuable thing I can do. I was raised the opposite and look where I ended up (getting into a marriage that was not good from the start (and had a lot of pressure to marry) and staying due to pressure to stay....um, wrong.). There is a difference between marriages with love and ups and downs than a marriage where there is no respect or caring or love--then you leave.[/quote]

As a young woman I think all the time if I ever want to get married. Based on how many of the men (and women) on here talk about marriage, I'm leaning towards no. It seems to me there is that expectation that when a woman marries she becomes a kind of house slave or servant, and she should be OH SO GRATEFUL if a man even picks up his socks at the end of the day, or, as many argued yesterday on the mothers day thread, be grateful for receiving one stale donut on Mother's Day.

it just seems so degrading and horrible, why would anyone sign up for it?  Especially when we now have other options like sperm donors.  You will still have to do some household work but at least you won't be constantly disrespected by a manbaby.  Just really struggling to see the upside given the dynamic of an overwhelming number of marriages[/quote]

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