Reply to Question for "strict" parents out there or believe they have very high standards for behavior

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The eye rolls and huffs are communicating something. If you use empathy to lean into what he’s feeling and out words to it, he will learn to communicate. How much do you model using “I feel” statements in your communication?[/quote]

I feel irritated that making basic good behavior subject to negotiation from a young age inevitably results in adults who think that eye-rolling in front of the boss is an acceptable form dissent at work on this forum. 
I feel sad when adults with a similar world view on the acceptability of eyerolling at work suggest that a supervisor who does not tolerate over-indulgent behavior deserves to be sabotaged. 
I feel frustrated that their parents probably caved into manipulative behaviors, and feel regretful that they now have trouble coping with anything disagreeable to them. 
I feel annoyed that when the role between parent and friend is blurred growing up, a similar misunderstanding happens at work.

Empathy and communication are important, but so are clear expectations, consequences, and teaching kids how to manage disappointment and frustration so they don't become insufferable adults. 
[/quote]

Yeah, I’m willing to bet that most of us who take a Whole Brain Child-type approach have very different standards for behavior from the *adults* in our lives vs. the *children*.  It’s not easy work, parenting that way, and those of us who chose it usually are dedicated parents who have high standards for their kids (hell, WBC talks so.much. About the importance of high standards).  It’s much easier to either be completely permissive or overly strict—you get to check out of paying attention to your children’s emotional development.  IME, self-described “strict” parents don’t do a freaking thing to teach their kids how to manage difficult feelings, other than telling them to go to their rooms and do it on their own.[/quote]

The insufferable part came quicker than I expected. [/quote]

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