Reply to Mom Wants to Take My Kid to the Doctor

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So H has no job, you are starting a business of some sort (which a team? Venture backed? In your basement? Consumer or business facing?
Your parents provide free childcare, clothes, toys and now have health wellness concerns about all of you. 
They want to take kid to the pediatrician next time.

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. [/quote]

Haha, are you my mom? My parents have always treated us this way. When we both worked in finance and had tons of money. Before we even had kids (back then, it was concerns about our health, our jobs, our vacations, whatever).

They criticized me for not taking care of my health when I was in banking (too much screentime, not enough sleep). Then for giving up a big salary when I changed to a lower-paying and less intense job later. They criticized me for taking my kid on pretty standard domestic vacations "because I was risking her life" (long before covid). They criticized me for not becoming a SAHM after the first kid was born. They criticized me for stopping breastfeeding at 10 months. For taking kid on playdates (again before COVID). They have always questioned all my life choices, point out all the potential risks and negative consequences of every single thing I do, and then when I tell them it's hurtful and not ok, they say that they love me and worry for me and this is what being a good parent looks like.

The things they buy are a way of controlling and bullying us. I explain that I'd rather kid not have items XYZ (overly pink/girly items, loud toys, screens, etc), and they buy those items and give to the kid without telling me. I buy a winter jacket, they say it's not warm enough and buy another one. I buy and cook organic food for my family, they bring over their own baby food (which is full of sweeteners and less healthy) because they believe baby MUST have purees, not chunks of real food.

When I started the business, of course they criticized me for that too. Yes, I started without any backers. Within months, I had an investor who now covers all costs of running it. I have a team working for me and thousands of customers. I don't have enough to take a salary for myself, but I am confident within a year I could get there if only I had more time to work and real childcare. It's not the kind of business that's going to make us rich, but the idea is for it to provide a solid salary, comparable to what I was making before. [/quote]

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