Reply to Electing not to breastfeed

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm due in two months and have been struggling with the thought of breastfeeding. It seems incredibly time consuming. It's a huge task to always be the one to get up in the middle of the night. I'd love to share the responsibility of feeding with my partner. Further, I don't have a job where I can expect privacy and I have a long commute (an hour plus) on public transportation. I know that workplaces are required to provide time and space for pumping, but I've seen how that plays out in reality with coworkers and it's not something I'd be comfortable doing (the time is never sufficient, and the space is never private). I know about the health benefits and I understand, but I also feel like my baby will be absolutely fine even if he is formula fed. I do feel like he will likely be better off if I don't resent this part of parenting.

Did anyone else choose not to breastfeed? If so, what were your reasons? In retrospect, do you feel like you or your child missed out? Thanks for any thoughts.[/quote]

I've got news for you PP. Every single aspect of parenting can seem "incredibly time consuming." Yes, it is absolutely a huge task to always be the one to get up in the middle of the night but guess what - that's what parents do.  And it's nice that you are rationalizing that your baby will be "absolutely fine," even though you claim to understand the health benefits of providing him with something better.

You have a lot to learn, OP.  You're going to be a mother. It's not about you anymore.  Embrace it - the next 18 years will go by very quickly.

Congratulations!

[/quote]

Many parts of parenting are extremely time consuming, this is true. Personally I like to maximize saving time where I can so I can more fully embrace the things you really can’t shortchange.

Also, because parenting is so all consuming it’s important to be conscious that you are not losing yourself in it entirely, for your own mental health. And I don’t mean that to be selfish. I mean that a healthy happy mom is a good mom, and an overstressed depressed mom is usually not as good a mom. Of course there are extremes where women over prioritize their happiness at the expense of their kids but in an ideal world there is balance.

Breastfeeding is extremely time consuming and specifically it takes a lot of moms time, establishing a norm of an extremely disparate scope of work for mom and dad from day 1. Being aware of that time and trying to ensure mom has some time to herself and dad is pulling his weight is really important and I feel like your post contributes to the mommy martyr syndrome that leads to depression.[/quote]

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