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[quote=Anonymous]OP, this thread's gotten off-topic, but let me weigh in:

You can't change or influence your DD's in-law's attitudes about contributing.  You tried.  You could try one last "Would you be willing to contribute to pay for X?" but you may not feel comfortable doing this.  I would be a lot more direct with these people myself, but I'm a direct person!  :)

Also, I'm a young'un (30) and got married mid-20s.  My parents contributed $5000 to the wedding, DH's parents contributed $2000 (but also hosting a wedding reception in their home country later), and we pitched in about $1000.  It was a BEAUTIFUL ceremony, and no one (including us) went into debt to pay for it.  I think it's reasonable for you to pay some amount toward DD's wedding, but it's better for her to realize now that there are things that make sense to spend tens of thousands of dollars on (education, a home, etc) and things that don't (a one-day party).

P.S. My parents paid 100% of my education expenses (and my siblings'), so they are neither cheap nor do they dislike me :)  They just think (and I agree) it's a shame to blow $20K on a party![/quote]

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